Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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