Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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