Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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