I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
