i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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