But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
