Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
