i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im six kinds of drunk right now
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
