Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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