Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
