I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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