That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize