he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
