I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize