Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize