Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
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