grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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