"it" just moved
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize