I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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