Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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