Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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