I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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