We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
