Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Boobs speak an international language.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
