what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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