Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize