Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
