So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
