i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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