I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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