if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
