I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Too much dab too little lung dying đ”đ”đ”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote âColleenâs Dickâwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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