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Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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