What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
