I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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