i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
