Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
