I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
