dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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