Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
