Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
