Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize