she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think your dad took our porno
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
