i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
