She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
