When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
