First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
