On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize