Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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