it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize