I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
