Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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