Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize