i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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