Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
