Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
