giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
