Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
