you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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