Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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