So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize