Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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