Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
His nipple licking is glorious
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