do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
