Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
