Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
