the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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