So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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