I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
