Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
