Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
